Oddest newsletter ever or just spam?

I’m on the mailing list for a local off-license that specialises in wine. The newsletters are often quite long-winded and text-only but during lunch today this fell into my inbox and I still don’t know what to make of it…

Greetings dear friend,

My name is Dr. Abu Ali Summons-Walsh. I am a corrupt banker in the Central Bank of Burkina Faso. I chose you from the list of esteemed customers of Sweeney’s Wine Merchants to receive a business proposition. (Yes, only you, nobody else on the list) An American customer died in a nuclear explosion leaving the sum of ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX GAZILLION AMERICAN DOLLARS in a dormant account. Fortunately, everybody in his family, and also anyone that ever knew him, also died in the accident. Now, as I am so high up in the Central Bank of Burkina Fasoe to have access to this account, but so ignorant of how the banking system works to transfer money across accounts (I am but a humble banker), I wish to transfer all this money into your bank account. I know we have never met, but I trust you. Please trust me back. I will give you half of the ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX GAZILLION AMERICAN DOLLARS if you give me access to your bank account. I will transfer the money into your account. [Note to self -Ooops - already said I don't know how to do this - remember to edit this note out]

So for untold wealth just send me your details :-

  • Bank Account number
  • Name
  • Sex
  • Occupation
  • Credit Card number
  • Expiry Date
  • Those three little numbers on the back
  • Any Pin numbers you have and what they are used for
  • Email passwords

And, dear friend, as I am trusting you with ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SIX GAZILLION AMERICAN DOLLARS I need a sign of trust from you. Please send all your cash to my Irish bank account no 12345324123346282184645728 . I remain your humble servant. Abu Ali Summons-Walsh

Afternoon, all,

Two tings. Firstly a heads up for the tasting next week – the wines of Argentina. An interesting selection, mostly reds, but not all Malbec. So bring your steaks on Thursday 4th March (how time flies). Secondly, for the fine winos, Finian has done a deal with a large importer (the company, not the guy). Sweeney’s now have a special deal on sets of four wines. These are Jaboulet AC Hermitage La Chapelle 01; Trimbach Frederic Emile Riesling 04; Latour AC Chassagne-Monrachet 1er Cru 05; and Chateau Laforge St. Emilion Grand Cru 05. Here’s Robert Parker’s notes :-

Paul Jaboulet Aine Hermitage’ La Chapelle’ 2001 Parker Points 90 -92

The 2001 Hermitage La Chapelle looks to be a strong effort, perhaps the finest since 1997. This is welcome news as this can be one of the world’s greatest wines. After an extremely severe selection (something that may have been lacking in previous vintages), the 2001 boasts a deep ruby/purple color as well as a sweet nose of creme de cassis intermixed with licorice and earth. Full-bodied, sweet, rich, and moderately tannic, it should merit a score in the low nineties, a good sign after a succession of uninspiring efforts. Anticipated maturity: 2010-2020.

Trimbach Cuvee Frederic Emile Riesling 2004 Parker Points 92

Grapefruit zest, chalk dust, truffle, sassafras { Kevin’s note – what the heck is this? } and must inform the nose of the 2004 Riesling Cuvee Frederic Emile. Overtly chalky and palpably extract-rich, with illusive floral inner-mouth aromas, this penetrates with almost severe intensity, leaving the palate saturated with citrus and minerals and, frankly, a bit wrung-out. Don’t look for this wine to rebound for another couple of years –in fact, don’t look for it at all until 2009, when it will be released.

Louis Latour Chassagne-Montrachet 1er Cru 2005 Parker hasn’t reviewed it since 92

Chateau Laforge Saint Emilion Grand Cru 2005 Parker Points 95

Tasting far superior than it did from cask, the bottled 2005 Laforge is fabulous. Moreover, there are 2,500 cases of this offering from the brilliant Englishman, Jonathan Malthus, who has proven he can turn quite a qualitative trick in both Bordeaux and Australia’s Barossa Valley. This dense purple-hued St.-Emilion offers up a glorious nose of graphite, blueberry and blackberry liqueur, licorice, and a whiff of acacia flowers. Full-bodied, thick, and juicy, this blend of 92% Merlot and 8% Cabernet Franc possesses terrific purity, an extravagantly rich mouthfeel, and wonderful precision. The result is a provocative, compelling wine that should be drinkable between 2013-2028.

Now the catch is you have to buy one bottle of each – a set of all four usually costs €220; to you, and you only, €150. Save €70. Only 24 sets available. Rush in now and make Lynda do some work for a change.

BTW, just met the nicest man. He gave me his email address, and said he would send on this message to you all to save me the bother. Hope this gets to you OK.


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